I just read a fascinating article from Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/202012/designed-be-kind-why-we-are-more-social-selfish) and it made me really think about the family squabbles around caring for my Uncle Ken.
Kindness to one another- especially in grief- should be simple, but as this Psychology Today article examines, perhaps the trouble lies in the fact that we celebrate the “random acts” more than normalize kindness as the expectation or standard. I’d recommend reading the entire piece (link above), but a few quotes that stood out for me:
“Research has found that people may be more likely to reciprocate kindness when they can rule out a strategic motive.”
Have you ever had a boss or colleague say something nice to you and then immediately wonder what the ulterior motive was? How awful that we have come to question kindness when extended...is that our Western culture?
The article goes on to say that “...cutthroat, suspicious, and selfish cultural norms can effectively overwhelm the kindness process.”
So because we expect the opposite consistently from others, we are dubious when met with kindness.
What does this do for the grief process? And what does this do to humanity?
The article concludes with the following:
The psychologist Lee Rowland of the University of Oxford offers the following summary: “The beauty of kindness is that it is open to anyone. We can all opt to choose kindness if we wish. It is free, easily accessible to rich and poor alike, and is universally understood. Thus, if it turns out that simple acts of everyday kindness can send ripple effects of wellbeing through society, then promoting and facilitating that has to be a constructive pursuit.”
My question for you as we close in on 2021: what can you do to kickstart the normalization of KINDNESS, and walk toward authentic care for oneself and one another?
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