Humans can be awful, but it’s not always our fault

My uncle died this morning. 

Uncle Ken grew up with developmental delays due to Cerebral Palsy and I never really felt like I knew him that well. While this is certainly sad, I’m not shocked or overcome with emotion. 

My dad is the oldest in his family so once his parents died, I think he felt a paternal need to care for Ken, enrich his life, etc. Over the past few years, my dad has had a number of unfortunate familial battles that I think really stem from the fact that he wanted certain things for Ken, and his younger siblings who were PoA (& closer geographically) wanted other things. I have to believe that there wasn’t anything malicious or mal-intentioned, but communication was difficult and people did things that would be hard to forgive. Money, illness, responsibility, and grief took over and I think the humans involved veered off course. 

And now with Ken’s death, I don’t see easy paths toward healing in my extended family. I feel horribly for my dad. I know he’ll feel this deeply and wish there was a way for me to help from afar. 

For now, I think there is only remembering Ken. The best way I know to do that would be to share a film my brother-in-law Lee made with Ken a number of year’s ago, titled Where’s Your Bobber: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mI6VeaMWgl8

If you watch it, I hope you’ll enjoy my family’s silliness and remember that although humans can be awful, maybe it has more to do with our individual reactions to circumstances, like grief, rather than who we are at the core. Kind of like losing your bobber while fishing.