To be better at empathy, break glass

Sitting in discomfort can be incredibly productive. If you chat with a therapist, you'll know exactly what I am talking about. Counterproductive to this, our society likes happy, non-conflict ridden, non-icky living. We depend on it. It's dependable.

If you ask someone how their day is going, you expect them to say "not too bad, how about yours?". Perfunctory, but dependable. In short, we don't like mess. 

This said, I really do believe that the messy times are the ones that we can learn from. 

Bearing witness to someone else's discomfort is incredibly powerful - giving them the stage, the venue, the opportunity, to be truly seen. " To work toward being more comfortable in our professional lives - to being more empathetic - I think we need to practice. 

"Practice makes perfect"? 

Maybe not... but maybe it could make each of us more ok with the mess, and more able to bear witness to the pain of our colleagues, clients, donors, and employees. 

Here's a few suggestions on how to break your own dependence on the dependable - some exercises and resources that I've found greatly useful in my journey. If you enjoy podcasts, recently I've started listening to Griefcast. 

It's lovely and provides a stage for grieving individuals to share stories about their loved ones (talk about legacy!). In an episode I just listened to (episode #139 with Rev. Richard Coles), the grieving individual was speaking about the difficulty of grief during the pandemic. He used the following phrase "the pageant of life gives you little hand-holds". This is the absolute best way I have heard to describe how truly difficult living with grief in the pandemic times must be. 

If you prefer to scroll through twitter, I'd recommend the posts by @FacesofCOVID . The posts are like reading little bite-size obituaries. Those who are grieving the individuals who are featured often comment on how meaningful it is to see their loved one featured on this thread - and that is the magic of bearing witness to someone else's pain. 

There are a ton of other resources available as well; if you're seeking to get a little more empathetic in your professional life, I'd suggest starting with disrupting your own comfort level as a starting place.