I just watched a TED talk by a man who was the subject of his dying wife's NYT Modern Love article "You May Want to Marry My Husband" (as an aside, if you haven't read this piece, please do yourself a favour and google it!). Amy Krouse Rosenthal was certainly a brilliant writer and her husband Jason Rosenthal has done a beautiful job at highlighting what he felt was an impactful gift his wife provided to him. A 'blank sheet of paper" as he calls it, a fresh start. For some who are grieving, they may resent this point of view. Because in order to have that fresh start, they've had to experience unspeakable pain... so Jason's presentation may not be for everyone. However, one term that Jason uses is incredibly relatable.
Creating intentional empty space.
This space can definitely be lonely in grief, but I think that for those of us around a grieving person, this is the only gift we can actually provide. Let the griever fill the space, let the griever dictate what comes next. Allow that empty space. Be deliberate about that. Focus energy there.
As professionals in any capacity, if we are seeking to be helpful to the individuals we serve (donors, students, customers), we need to become grief allies. We can achieve this by creating this intentional empty space.
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