I think Caton would have been about 3 and a half or 4 at the time. Her pépé (grandfather) had died when she was almost 2, but she clearly didn't recall anything about that. So we were driving past one and she asked what the big space was as we passed by. I responded by saying it was a cemetery and that it was where dead bodies are buried. I remember vividly that her eyes got wide and that she repeated me. And then we didn't speak about it further.
A few days later, we passed another cemetery and all of a sudden, she got very excited and squealed with excitement something to the effect of 'look mama, there's dead bodies there".
I remember bursting out laughing. I think i was mortified at the time, thinking that this was somehow gong to scar her...
Fast forward to this past week. We passed a beautiful cemetery, and I said something about it. My husband actually teased me and said I was being morbid. But then, my daughter commented that she also thought it looked beautiful. We then continued on with a conversation about how sad it was that the brick wall around part of the graveyard seemed to have been vandalized and Caton indicated she was going to fix it someday.
Lesson: Monkey see, monkey do. In order to change society's issues with death, we need to attack in very practical ways. And the best way to do this is by modelling the behaviour.
Say the words death around children. Speak about different people's beliefs structures when you pass by a funeral procession. Discuss your own funeral or celebration wishes.
Have. the. conversations.
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