Missteps

My husband told me an interesting story recently. 

His principal had called all the staff in for a meeting before school. They could tell it was something serious... Geoff went into the meeting and the principal stood at the front of the room and indicated that a former student had died. 

Geoff noticed that the principal used the term ‘died’ and silently commended him (he has heard my presentations for years so he's a bit indoctrinated!).

A bit later, Geoff bumps into two colleagues who were latecomers to the meeting. They ask him what the news was and Geoff relays the message. In informing his colleagues however, Geoff says ‘a former student has passed away’... now Geoff has been surrounded by my content and my pontifications on death for over six years now... and his own use of a euphemism in this case actually took him aback. 

I get it... even if we hear the “d” words used, they can still seem harsh. And human nature and our societal models tell us that we need to avoid uncomfortable, harsh and distressing terms. So even though he feels like he knew better, a “passed away” slipped out of his mouth. 

I think we're bound to make missteps, be it using a euphemism when we don't intend to (I do this all the time), or even very egregiously saying the wrong thing (again, I think I do this all the time). As professionals, we may have these touch-points more often, and missteps are bound to occur. 

Notice it, learn from it, move on.