GriefWatch

New idea- a book club, but for movies. Selections will be films which portray grief in different ways. Discuss amongst your friends, normalize grief. 

Today’s selection: The Adam Project

If you read one thing today, please let it be this

Our society is NOT good at grief. Three days off from work when a family member dies (please ensure you detail the exact relation), and no comfort in holding space. And now, it's coming to a head. Harshly. Please read this article from The Atlantic: 

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2022/04/us-1-million-covid-death-rate-grief/629537/

"One million people died in just over two years. It should be incontestable that they are gone, that they mattered, and that the millions more who loved them should get the grace and space to grieve and mourn."

After Life

I’ve written about this show in the past, but truly can’t recommend it enough. It is a beautifully told, beautifully real portrayal of grief and love. Do your self a favour and check it out. 

Gobsmacked

The above was posted in the comments section after a new article about the death of a man who coached my husband while we attended Western University. The article was entitled "Larry Haylor, legendary Western Mustangs football coach, dies at 76". 

When did the word DIES become heartless or insinuate the lack of compassion? 

I am simply gobsmacked at this posting... what does this say about our society's fear of death and lack of positive death culture when we cannot even say the word in a factual sense? 

We have much work to do...

Betty White & Desmond Tutu

2021 left us in very typical 2021 fashion - deaths that seemed like a bit of a gut punch to the collective blow. Betty White brought so much joy, Desmond Tutu brought so much hope. 

I will say I was buoyed by Desmond Tutu's last act of advocacy and education. He was mourned in a plain pine box, and chose aquamation for body disposal. Aquamation is among the most planet-friendly options for burial, and more widely available/legal than green burial or human composting. I hope that many will look into this option now that Desmond Tutu died as he lived - by setting an example. 

For more on aquamation. see: https://www.cnn.com/2022/01/02/africa/desmond-tutu-aquamation-intl/index.html

And to Betty, I simply say that you for being a (imaginary) friend and I'm so pleased you now know the secret. (If you haven't heard of the beautiful story Betty's mother told her - and their shared approach to death - THIS is the meaning of death positivity! Read more here: https://people.com/tv/how-betty-white-viewed-the-aging-process-and-had-no-fear-of-the-secret-of-death/)

STUG

Sudden temporary upsurgence of grief. A moment when you're living life, and grief seems to come out of nowhere. Here is a moving story from the New Yorker on exactly that: 

 https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/crying-in-h-mart

Day of the Dead

I LOVE the Mexican holiday Dia de los Meurtos - the pageantry, the sugar skulls, the colours, the traditions... but most of all the intent. 

A day to invite memories - of family members and friends who have died - back into our lives. A day to celebrate those who have died, and to commune with them in order to keep them alive in our daily lives. 

Check out this link for more: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead