I've decided that the world needs a new word right now. Some people are calling what they are feeling "stress" and others are identifying with the word "grief"... I'm calling this out. Right now, I think our collective society is experiencing stregrief.
Articles I have read on grief and those that focus on stress are effectively saying the same thing... and I think that the ways it hits each individual is distinct to each of us. But some of the coping mechanisms may be the same for all of us: do what is right for you (be honest with yourself), don't judge how others are making it through, and don't judge yourself.
https://www.self.com/story/coronavirus-stress
However, this stregrief is manifesting for you, I wish for you some levity, rest, and moments of nonCOVID-19 related news this weekend. Stay well.
Friday, March 27, 2020
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Oddities
Is it weird that a worldwide pandemic is what it takes for people to take grief seriously?
The Harvard Business Review interviewed David Kessler for this piece: https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR3Te0xaFJX-x5HRZm17k0DDQa5N-oJoC61rtn4mlOMtlaUyleb5WAJrhv0
Listen, I am grateful that people are finally coming around acknowledging the real effects grief can have in the workplace... but can't seem to get over the bizarro nature that this topic took literally thousands of deaths for people to be ok with speaking about it!
Let's get real - grief sucks.
The Harvard Business Review interviewed David Kessler for this piece: https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR3Te0xaFJX-x5HRZm17k0DDQa5N-oJoC61rtn4mlOMtlaUyleb5WAJrhv0
Listen, I am grateful that people are finally coming around acknowledging the real effects grief can have in the workplace... but can't seem to get over the bizarro nature that this topic took literally thousands of deaths for people to be ok with speaking about it!
Let's get real - grief sucks.
Monday, March 23, 2020
Kübler-Ross and COVID
Well, blogging took a backseat as COVID-19 became a North American reality... and boy oh boy, what a reality.
In this strange new world, every professional I know is encountering strange new worlds. This is simply uncharted territory - we don't know how long this 'new normal' will be ours. And similar to dealing with grief from a death, the grief that now surrounds us requires patience and clear communication.
Here is a really interesting article that a colleague just sent through our team Slack:
https://www.prdaily.com/how-to-identify-the-stages-of-grief-in-covid-19-messages/
Paraphrasing Brené Brown here: being clear is being kind. Focus on that today in your professional communications - we all need a little more kindness in our world right now.
Practice social distancing without human distancing, friends.
Wishing you good health and high spirits!
In this strange new world, every professional I know is encountering strange new worlds. This is simply uncharted territory - we don't know how long this 'new normal' will be ours. And similar to dealing with grief from a death, the grief that now surrounds us requires patience and clear communication.
Here is a really interesting article that a colleague just sent through our team Slack:
https://www.prdaily.com/how-to-identify-the-stages-of-grief-in-covid-19-messages/
Paraphrasing Brené Brown here: being clear is being kind. Focus on that today in your professional communications - we all need a little more kindness in our world right now.
Practice social distancing without human distancing, friends.
Wishing you good health and high spirits!
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Quick and easy
The past month has been a whirlwind with travel, work priorities, and illnesses at home. While I haven't taken time to blog I have continued to comb through, read, and retweet interesting death-related content on Twitter. Two recent posts have led me back here... Two specific tweets to be exact.
One I will leave for a subsequent post, but the other is a relatively simple way of saying that all we need to do in the face of grief is BE THERE. That's it. Quick and easy. Whether it is in the course of our personal or professional lives, that's all that it will take to make a difference.
Acknowledge. Be present.
The exact words of the tweet?
"When someone dies, be the person in everyone's life who's not afraid to talk about it."
See @YerGoing2Die for this and similar other gems.
Friday, February 14, 2020
Landmines
I think many of us believe Valentine's day to be a fabricated, commercial holiday. Or maybe that's just cynical moi?
Well, whether you agree with me, you think it is an innocuous silly day, or especially if you actually love the celebration of love... it will come as no surprise that the day may be filled with landmines for those grieving.
And, because of the focus (hearts! pink! sparkles!), we likely don't recognize it in our professional lives.
If you have a colleague or client who could be grieving this Valentine's day, I'd encourage you to drop them a note expressing your admiration.
It doesn't have to speak to their potential grief, but even a simple 'I'm thinking of you' or 'I appreciate you' on a day that could be potentially painful may be just what they need to hear.
At best, you're making them feel loved on a tough day filled with landmines, at worst, you're making someone smile on a fabricated, commercial holiday.
(Maybe just skip the heart chocolate and singing balloon-o-grams.)
Well, whether you agree with me, you think it is an innocuous silly day, or especially if you actually love the celebration of love... it will come as no surprise that the day may be filled with landmines for those grieving.
And, because of the focus (hearts! pink! sparkles!), we likely don't recognize it in our professional lives.
If you have a colleague or client who could be grieving this Valentine's day, I'd encourage you to drop them a note expressing your admiration.
It doesn't have to speak to their potential grief, but even a simple 'I'm thinking of you' or 'I appreciate you' on a day that could be potentially painful may be just what they need to hear.
At best, you're making them feel loved on a tough day filled with landmines, at worst, you're making someone smile on a fabricated, commercial holiday.
(Maybe just skip the heart chocolate and singing balloon-o-grams.)
Thursday, February 13, 2020
Clothes, hair strands, and office space
The other day I wrote about someone I had started following on Twitter. Fernanda Santos also wrote a beautiful piece for the New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/01/opinion/sunday/death-husband-grief.html. It's about so much more than grief - definitely recommend it.
Sidebar - This story made me think of my grandmother and my mom and how they grieved immediately following the death of my grandfather twenty years ago. The day after he died, my grandmother took grandpa's hairbrush and cleaned it out, removing any leftover hair strands that may have been caught in the bristles. My mom was in awe of her mom's strength, stating that she wouldn't have been able to part so quickly with the last physical evidence of her dad. I was in University at this time of grandpa's death, but both these reactions have stayed with me. I too think of my grandmother's reaction as strength, but also wonder if that is the right word/sentiment.
In my workplace, there was someone who (somewhat unexpectedly) died last year. While his widow has come in to remove items from the office, the space remains unused, and his name remains on the door...
At what point is it the right time to give away clothes, remove hair strands from a brush, use an office space for another purpose? Is a professional timeline expected to be different than a personal one?
Sidebar - This story made me think of my grandmother and my mom and how they grieved immediately following the death of my grandfather twenty years ago. The day after he died, my grandmother took grandpa's hairbrush and cleaned it out, removing any leftover hair strands that may have been caught in the bristles. My mom was in awe of her mom's strength, stating that she wouldn't have been able to part so quickly with the last physical evidence of her dad. I was in University at this time of grandpa's death, but both these reactions have stayed with me. I too think of my grandmother's reaction as strength, but also wonder if that is the right word/sentiment.
In my workplace, there was someone who (somewhat unexpectedly) died last year. While his widow has come in to remove items from the office, the space remains unused, and his name remains on the door...
At what point is it the right time to give away clothes, remove hair strands from a brush, use an office space for another purpose? Is a professional timeline expected to be different than a personal one?
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Truth
Created from heartbreak, a new children's book gives words to parents whose child is dying:
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-after-losing-her-young-son-to-cancer-a-mother-wrote-a-childrens-book/
This article had me tearing up - I'm sure I'll be a blubbering mess when I read the book. But the honesty is what I admire. Imagine a world where we can all be as truthful and genuine in dealing with the subject of death...
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-after-losing-her-young-son-to-cancer-a-mother-wrote-a-childrens-book/
This article had me tearing up - I'm sure I'll be a blubbering mess when I read the book. But the honesty is what I admire. Imagine a world where we can all be as truthful and genuine in dealing with the subject of death...
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