"The most kissed face of all time"

I wonder if this is true. Fascinating if it is...and what a legacy!

https://www.facebook.com/137906549730115/posts/1126070004247093?s=591425261&sfns=mo

If you aren't able to follow the link - here are the details (which accompany a photo):

This is the DEATH MASK of a young woman who drowned in the River Seine in the 1880's. As was customary in those days, her corpse was put on display in the Paris mortuary, in the hope that someone might recognize her and claim her body. The pathologist on duty became entranced by the girl with the enigmatic half-smile, and so he commissioned a plaster cast made of her face. This mask was replicated many times over. She became known as "L'Inconnue de la Seine,” or “The Unknown Woman of the Seine.” In 1955, a toy maker named Asmund Laerdal created what we now know as the CPR doll. Asmund wanted his mannequin to have a natural appearance. Remembering a mask on the wall of his grandparents' house many years earlier, he decided that the L'Inconnue de la Seine would become the face of Resusci Anne. So you see, this anonymous woman who drowned in the 19th century is responsible for saving many, many lives the world over. It is said that she has the most kissed face of all time. I hope you enjoyed this little #histmed tale!

Credit: The Chirurgeon's Apprentice

Moira

Are you a Schitt's Creek fan? In an episode where one of the characters, Moira Rose, is reported dead on the internet, she then dramatically asks for her friends and acquaintances to play a little game of imagining an alternate reality where she is indeed dead, and asks them what they would say about her:

"Theoretically, what do you think you'd be saying right now?"

The episode plays on to have Moira continue to read online tributes. The episode really got me thinking. We so often hold back compliments, or the sharing of our true emotions. Why is it that we only feel comfortable paying tribute once someone is dead? What would happen if we started saying those nice things when we think them, to one and all...

REPOST: Griever

I've been thinking about what it could look like if we went into our professional scenarios fully aware of each individual's wounds and scars.

Would it change our conversations, reactions, and verbiage with the donors we serve? If you're a professional advisor, I wonder if you'd avoid saying certain terms or steer-clear of small talk altogether if you knew ahead of time that the mention of baseball is a potential grief-trigger?

Basically, I am wondering if our conversations with donors would be richer if we each wore our pain-points on our sleeves... or if we'd avoid fullstop.

I think society has a gut reaction to ostrich - we'd really rather put our head in the sand than deal with anything unpleasant.
But if we went into our professional meetings already knowing what the potential hot spots were, I wonder if it could make our conversations more meaningful. Perhaps we'd all be a bit kinder, a bit more gentle with each other if we could wear our grief like a badge. "I am grieving... please go easy".

HBR

About a month ago I posted in one blog entry that there are few and far between resources for dealing with grief in a professional world. Today I decided to search the Harvard Business Review to see if any article ever posted on that platform had touched upon the subject.

While 'grief' came up empty (not surprising!), 'death' pulled up one entry. And although the article barely scratches the surface of dealing with death in the workplace (as I had defined it), it does present an interesting viewpoint. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/09/business/kathy-giusti-sharing-life-lessons-from-a-death-sentence.html

The interviewee, Kathy Giusti, speaks about how a (then-) fatal diagnosis provided her with some lessons she has carried forward into business. Time-management and decisiveness are things that have helped her in her career, and she indicates in this interview that she has pulled these lessons directly from her brush with death. Basically, she learned first hand that life is short, and she couldn't sit around and over-lament her decision-making, or look back and have regrets. 

A lesson I needed reminding of today, as I waffle with various minute decisions... time to choose an option and move along. Life is short. 

REPOST: Grief allies

What would it look like to become a grief ally? How can I inject this into my work, and then bring it forward as something I can encourage in my team, my peers, my profession? 

As a fundraiser, I'm already a natural listener and observer. I feel these skillsets are innate for me. But, as my husband will tell you, I am also very opinionated, and I try to help or solve OFTEN. Also, I play devil's advocate to help people see different points of view. 

I think that for me being a grief ally is suppressing some of myself. I'm sure I have gotten it wrong more than a few times. I think being a grief ally is also about continuing to remind myself that my opinions, thoughts, statements, and (most certainly) judgements are not helpful. 

I'll have to continue in my journey if I really want to hone this skillset. Grief ally-dom is not likely something we can ever perfect. Pain is very hard to sit with, and not fix. I think being a grief ally is about knowing that.

After Life

Taking a pause from my Ted Talks obsession, I wanted to bring another binge-worthy series to your attention. This one comes with a warning - it is definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea. 

Ricky Gervais created, produces and stars in the dark comedy After Life, available on Netflix. The first season consists of only 6 episodes; I have to admit that the story arc didn't compel me after watching episodes 3/4 and I almost gave up on it. I was then encouraged by a colleague to stick with it, and I am happy I did. 

The realism this series brings to the table when it comes to possible reactions to grief can be disturbing. But, at the same point, I think that is that very reason why it is important to watch. A dark comedy doesn't feel like a safe way to touch upon such a serious topic, but that too is perhaps what makes it even more relevant. 

The takeaway: in grief, there is no right or wrong, no rules, no norms. If this series feels very uncomfortable, maybe that is because it sucks to realize that grief can push any/all of us to disturbing extremes. And maybe to make each of us better at being human (and humane!) in our daily interactions, we need to stretch ourselves outside of that comfort zone and come to grips with that very reality.

Follow this link to the trailer for the series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_-cQVKI2X8

Ted x2

Dying well can seem like an oxymoron but the following two Ted Talks speak to what could be in our power to ensure a better death. Planning, it seems, is the recommendation. Planning and open conversation. Again, I post these with full transparency here - I don't necessarily personally agree with all the viewpoints expressed in these talks, but certain statements were particularly poignant to me, so I wanted to share.

https://www.ted.com/talks/judy_macdonald_johnston_prepare_for_a_good_end_of_life?referrer=playlist-new_ways_to_think_about_death

 & 

https://www.ted.com/talks/peter_saul_let_s_talk_about_dying?referrer=playlist-new_ways_to_think_about_death

Wishing you open dialogue and the willingness to listen...