The reason for death education

I’ve been thinking about the short doc I alluded to in yesterday’s post. The main physician that is featured makes a statement that rings incredibly true to me. 

“ I think that we all should explore a little more, this death and dying thing. I think that it is very isolating for people and people are uncomfortable around it…but if the solution is that we just avoid it more & more, then, one day, each one of us will be in the situation and nobody will be there for us. “

This is why I’m passionate about death education and death literacy. The more we talk about death- remove it from the fear, from the disdain, from the mystery- maybe we can ensure that we all have access to our ideal death. 

Watch the doc for yourself:  https://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000007249913/dying-in-your-mothers-arms.html 

Ideal death

This evening I’ve listened to the amazing Alua Arthur (if you don’t know her work, google Going With Grace and watch her one minute videos on Instagram!) describe her ideal death on a podcast and then also watched a lovely NYT short doc where the paediatric palliative care physician indicates that an ideal death for her is dying as a baby in mom’s arms (no where more surrounded by unconditional love). 

Both descriptions were so beautiful that they’ve inspired me to think about my own ideal death. So far, I’ve come up with the following:

- non medical, surrounded by my people and dog

- knowing arrangements made, no stress or fuss awaits my aggrieved friends/family; passwords all filed, last posts dealt with, obituary pre-written

- sharing favourite memories, laughing at goofy pictures, telling stories

- if my body can handle it, drinking red wine, an excellent cheese and a slice of carrot cake

-ideally in a space with fresh air, overlooking water or mountains

- all family drama dealt with, apologies issued, amends made

- fresh lilacs, vibrant gerbera daisies, hydrangeas 

- cello music or musical soundtrack 

- knowledge that my legacy gifts will have real impact in the world.

I think I can dig into the specifics a bit more, and certainly need to do a lot more practical work in advance care directives but this was a peaceful meditation to undertake tonight. I’d highly recommend it.