Academia

Earlier in the pandemic, I posted other research that had been posted to the McMaster Optimal Aging Portal about Grief. You can consider this part two. 

https://www.mcmasteroptimalaging.org/blog/detail/blog/2020/09/09/grieving-experiences-in-the-context-of-a-pandemic-how-to-support-individual-and-collective-grief

The research findings featured here are not earth shattering and seem a bit like common sense, but it is still interesting to me that scholarly research about grief is on the rise. I take this as a very good sign: academia paying distinct attention to this topic is encouraging. 

Death should not be an offshoot, or sidelined as a fringe topic in academia, nor in our professional lives. Grief affects every single one of us, and addressing how that impacts us will have deep impacts for our colleagues, our organizations, and the stakeholders we serve. 

1/2 tennis ball

When I am out for a walk in our neighbourhood, I pass a broken half of a tennis ball in the park by our house that someone has left discarded. 

A few weeks ago, Milo had found that same half tennis ball and coveted it like it was a prized possession. It was all I could do to not let him bring it home with him. 

And now, I pass this same broken tennis ball daily as I make myself stick to my walk/run routine without him.  

The other day it made me sad, recalling how Milo dove on it and wanted to keep it. It made me miss him.

This morning however, it made me smile when I saw it. I recalled his puppy-like behaviour and it brought back happy memories. 

And that is how grief works I suppose. Innocuous objects bringing back memories or pain and that can very easily catch us off guard. 

A very smart colleague of mine introduced me to the term STUG. Sudden temporary upsurge of grief. 

Although these memories of Milo aren't making me break down in tears or double-over in pain, it is possible that someone in our lives may experience that very palpable response. Out of the blue. 

And that doesn't make someone weak or ill-equipped to deal with grief... it's NORMAL. 

For me, I think I'll bring gloves with me tomorrow and actually pick up and throw out that half tennis ball tomorrow. I've actually liked both the painful and happy memories that it has brought me over the past few days, but I think that it has served it's purpose... 

(Also, its not like the original owner is going to come back to throw it out after so many weeks, so I might as well do something nice for the neighbourhood by getting rid of it properly!)