Playing at Death

I was super excited recently when I came across a game on social media, and immediately purchased it for myself (let's call it an early Christmas gift!). It's a game called The Death Deck. I also just noticed through some interactions on twitter that a few of this style game are starting to crop up. Amazing. The more the merrier, in my books (on this topic at least)!

After all, I would say that playfulness actually entices people to be more honest, confront topics they may not be interested in discussing under 'normal' circumstances, and hopefully, help to make people more at ease.

Here are just a few of the cards, but I encourage you to look them up online and check it out for yourself. Dig in to some of these and feel free to post a comment regarding your answers!

Being there

A friend's mother died last week. The services were this past Friday and Saturday and I wasn't able to attend. I feel awful about not being able to support her. But... newsflash reminder for me: supporting her isn't just about being there for the initial shock of grief... it's really about checking in on random days, sending notes... actually being there. Not just showing up out of a sense of obligation, but reaching out whenever she comes to mind, sending her notes, and showing up in person to support her, when possible.


A good reminder for us all... grief does not end at the funeral.

Shock value

I think that's what this hospice is going for... a giant billboard with the words "let's talk about your grief". I happen to love it, but I am certain that it has caught some drivers off-guard.

I think it is important to shock people into talking about grief, death... even life. We don't ever REALLY talk about it, do we?

What are your thoughts?

Death at work

Our professional lives are a bit odd, aren't they? We spend so much time interacting with those we work with, and yet, for most of us, we limit (or are forced to limit) how deep we really go into those relationships... 

While thinking of content just now, I absent-mindedly clicked over to a social media account of a colleague of mine who died about two years ago (wait... maybe three?... god, now I don't know and feel terrible about it!) In looking at his social media, I am filled with the knowledge that our relationship was really only surface-level. I barely knew him. He was a really decent guy though, and it is still so odd to think that he isn't on this planet. It's so much easier for us to think that anyone in our professional lives have just moved on to another opportunity... 

Although, depending on your spiritual outlook on death, I suppose maybe he has just moved on to another opportunity.

But I digress... 

I think I have written about this in previous post.. death of a colleague is a really weird realm because of our frequent-but-not-deep contacts. In the professional world, where we like to box things up neatly, it's no wonder why death of a colleague is a disconcerting one. It doesn't fit in a nice box. I can't think of this colleague as having an impact somewhere out in the world. I know he's not there. And yet, I don't feel like I have the license to actually grieve... I barely knew him. 

Death is funny like that - our social context adds all the meaning... the act is the same.

 

Escape

Have you tried an escape room? I've done a few and have loved them. It's like playing an amped up pretend game for adults, where you completely inhabit another world for one hour.

In many ways, escape rooms, or escaping into a video game or a good book are all ways for us to forget about real life. And I think many of use everyday life as an escape as well.

Sound plausible to you? We focus on all the minutia we encounter daily, and forget to think about the bigger picture, the point of it all.

So as you spend every waking minute this week stressing about a big presentation, or about some form of workplace drama, I encourage you to to step back for one second, and think about your personal big picture.

After all, life is just too short.

9 minutes

If you have an estimated 9 minutes,  look at these photos and read the accompanying story.

It was posted a few months ago, but I just stumbled across it today... You may have already seen this, but honestly, its likely worth a second, third, and forth look. Apparently it takes 9 minutes to read. I think we can spare that kind of time.

https://www.boredpanda.com/meeting-mortality-photography-father-dying-from-cancer-josh-neufeld/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

HBR covers grief

This is such an important article and extremely relevant to all professionals: "Going Back to Work After a Pregnancy Loss"

https://hbr.org/2019/12/going-back-to-work-after-a-pregnancy-loss?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=dailyalert_activesubs&utm_content=signinnudge&referral=00563&deliveryName=DM58295

Go, read it.

Blue Holiday

I just received an email which I loved and wanted to share:

Dear friends of McMaster,

We will be holding a simple but intentional observance during Advent for those who could use this occasion of "light in the darkness" to honor their grief, or the grief of someone close to them.

Whether it be the result of death, the dissuading of dreams or feeling isolated during exams, grief manifests itself in many forms and deserves to have a place in which to name it so as not to be consumed by it.

This service seeks to provide such a time and place. 

We simply call it a "Blue Holiday" service, and it is an offering from the Chaplaincy Centre, taking place on:

Tuesday, December 10th, 12:15PM in MUSC 206/207.

Come for a 30 minute time of candle lighting, short readings, silence and sharing.

Imagine if we offered time and space like this in the professional sphere as well? As staff at a university, I get to benefit from wonderful initiatives like this, but in an office-based environment, time and thoughtfulness like this is not normalized, and therefore not offered. What could the impact be on employees if we encouraged this type of activity?